HOWARD STERN SHOW 11/93
We're back with the Howard Stern show......
H: Let's get those dudes in here; Emerson, Lake & Palmer. I'm excited to see them. You should see what they've got set up here....conga.....I like conga...it looks like something I can do, do you know what I mean? Hi guys, hey, how are you doing...come on in and take a seat.
H: You know, conga is something I can play.
C: If you can count to one, Howard, you can play em.
H: Sit down you guys....Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Come on dudes, let's have some fun. Look at this - the usual mess! It's like we have a super group in like Emerson, Lake & Palmer and then they sit down and there's no room for the headphones, there's no room for anybody to play their guitar. Actually they sat and designed this studio and no one consulted me. I said its got to be twice the size...can you believe what a dump this is?
G: They really should give you some where better, Howard.
H: First of all, Keith Emerson is here...what are you, half dead? Dude, are you all right?
K: Hell of a time to run a radio show.
H: Keith Emerson is here. He can't stand getting up this early. When he was playing the Fillmore in the 70s and I was sitting in the audience watching him, there's no way he thought he'd be up this early in the morning 20 years from now. I mean I went to see you guys, so you get to come see me now. I remember I was so high for the concert when I saw them, that I couldn't really figure out what was going on and that I got nervous because I think it was Keith who came into the audience with that giant contraption...what was it.....the big penis? He used to come in with big metal thing, and I remember I was high wondering what the hell is he doing....I'm getting nervous... thinking it was going to be audience participation. That used to freak me out...when I'd go to concerts and there would be audience participation "alright everybody sing along!" Oh no, uh oh....alright, look at you dudes...how many millions do you guys have?
G: Not as many as you Howard.
C: Now look Howard, how come, in your book, you didn't mention the box set of Emerson, Lake & Palmer...you know, it's 40 minutes of newly recorded music and previously unreleased tracks. And we thought you were our pal, and you didn't mention it in your book.
H: You're listening to the voice of Carl Palmer, of course, who plays the congas...big deal...did you guys ever want to throw Carl out of the group and say why give him an equal split?
C: They did, they did! They had Emerson, Lake and Powell.
H: Emerson, Lake & Powell....now why were you thrown out of the band?
C: I thought it was a great idea!
H: Were you just talking too much?
C: You know why I thought it was a good idea...because the back catalog took off! Just think about it...I made 9 albums with the band...they went out with Cozy and everyone started buying the old albums again. They took off!
H: Emerson, Lake and Cozy Powell.
C: Think about...it's not right, is it?
H: Now if I was going to throw some one out of the band it's always going to be the drummer. From a business sense, wouldn't you always do that...because you say, we write all the songs and he's sitting there banging on a conga and he's getting a third of our money. Is that what happened?
C: No, no. What happened is I was in Asia.
H: How come I ask them a question and you're answering?
C: Because I'm telling you. I was in Asia and what happened was, I was already making a record; couldn't get out of the contract...had to be fulfilled...they wanted to go out...I thought it was a great idea. In came Powell and off they went.
H: Didn't you think it was wrong for Emerson, Lake & Palmer? Come on, tell me about it.
C: I felt great about it!
H: No you didn't.
C: Listen, look at my face...look into my eyes, Howard, look into my eyes..
H: You're lying!
C: I thought it was wonderful. I made money out of that...they made money out of it. A lot of people saw 2/3s of a very very big band and our catalog became in the stores again and people could get all of our records. It was a great thing!
H: Keith looks like he's going to smack you in the face if you don't shut up.
K: He's had too much coffee.
H: But you guys made like, millions of dollars, right?
C: I didn't personally. I'm only the drummer.
H: Is each guy worth like 50 million? Keith, Keith...did you make 50 million for yourself?
K: My ex-wife has all that now.
H: You got divorced, then?
C: You gave her everything?
H: Oh man, that must kill you.
K: Yeah, that's heavy man.
H: You got married when you were very young, right Keith?
K: No, I got married when I was 27, or something like that.
H: Why'd you get married....what was she, like a model or something? You were getting all the girls you wanted by the time you were 27, right? Being in Emerson, Lake & Palmer- that's a cool way to get girls.
K: That was before Emerson, Lake & Palmer.
R: So why did he get married?
C: Maybe it was love.
H: You married her before Emerson, Lake & Palmer?
H: So was she pretty scraggy or something, you know what I mean, and all of a sudden you got into Emerson, Lake & Palmer, and you got all these good looking girls?
C: That's a great word...scraggy.
H: So then you stayed with her while you were making all that money...you should have divorced her immediately - as soon as the band took off! How much money did you have to give her....like 25 million?
K: Oh god, I don't know, I'm still working it out.
C: This is the financial section of the show.
H: Oh my god...is it flippin' you out?
H: So you started cheating on her as soon as Emerson, Lake & Palmer took off, right?
K: No, I didn't cheat, no.
H: You really didn't?
All in unison...oh yes you did!
K: Oh no I didn't.
H: He did, Greg?
G: Well, I'm not prepared to say.
H: You don't squeal on your mates?
C: We always have separate rooms, so we never know what's going on.
H: So all you guys are single now?
K: No, these two are married. I'm the single guy.
C: He's the single one.
H: What did you two guys do...dump your first wives...
C: Absolutely Howard, whatever you say.
H: Did you?
G: We're still tryin'.
H: Did you guys marry models and stuff?
C: Models? A difference of opinion makes horse racing possible!
H No, you guys married good looking girls; you're not in a group like Emerson, Lake & Palmer and not get good girls. I mean that's the whole point of being in....
C: We never get alot of girls at our concerts...
G: Why else would you be in a band?
C: It's always only guys at Emerson, Lake & Palmer concerts. Very few women.
H: But it is kind of cool to be in a band and everything and do that whole thing...get tons of women.
C: We don't.
H: OK, yeah, sure.
C: Come to our gigs...there's more men than women.
H: That's why Keith gave away half of his money. That's why now you have a situation where the drummer is worth more than the guy who wrote some of the songs. See, that's why they had to throw him out of the band. They got so bitter....you held on to all your money didn't you? Those bastards will never throw you out again. Son of a gun, you got all the money. Who gets more girls...a member of Emerson, Lake & Palmer or let's say like Ringo from the Beatles? Seriously...Emerson, Lake & Palmer would get more girls wouldn't you think? This is what I want to do, you guys...first of all I want to mention the fact....
R: First of all, you've never told the other guys Greg's story, have you?
H: I don't know that Greg likes to bring it up. You guys know about this?
G: Oh Howard, you promised me; you promised me!
H: Do you guys know about this?
K: No, tell us.
H: We did this show called the House Party....
G: I'll never forgive you!
H: So at the House Party, we go to one of the listeners' home and we have, like a party. We do the whole show from the guy's house. So we go there and bring a hypnotist with us, this guy Dr. King. And Dr. King....it just so happened the day we're doing this show, we wanted to do something cool, so Greg was good enough to appear at the House Party and we did a little jam session, OK? So while we were there, I said to the hypnotist, can you do something weird with Greg here and one of the people in the crowd? He pulls up this guy and he hypnotized him to think that Greg's a woman, and he falls in love with Greg! And the guys' makin' out with Greg and all over him...kissing him and rubbing him. And Greg, you're really homophobic in a way.....seriously man, you were really uptight.
G: That was wicked.
H: And he ran out of the house!
C: Do you have any film Howard?
H: Yeah, I do as a matter of fact! Dr. King said it was very easy, for some reason: I don't know, Greg sends off some sort of feminine charm, I don't know what it is. He never told you about it?
No! in unison
G: I got up 7 o'clock in the morning and I could not believe what you've done to this house, Howard. It was unbelievable....really unbelievable!
H: It really was....now let's just say that Emerson, Lake & Palmer.....hey Keith, you don't seem so happy....how come man, what's the matter?
G: Yeah man, cheer up!
C: Have some more coffee.
H: Hey Keith, why don't you mellow out man, why don't you have a good time?
G: Lighten up, lighten up.
H: You should have seen Greg man, the last time he was here he practically breast fed half the party. OK, now here we go, here we go. It was unbelievable.
C: Thank you Dr. Stern.
H: Now Emerson, Lake & Palmer, believe it or not, the radio station actually persuaded them to help out with this world hunger year. You know, one year they had Crosby, Stills and Nash; now they've got Emerson, Lake & Palmer. I don't know how they do it. What do they do...kick you guys in the nuts? I don't know what it was...
G: Get on the floor....sssht.
H: In association with Radio City Productions, the Hungerthon 93 Benefit Concert is going to be happening...it's a special unplugged Emerson, Lake & Palmer concert, that you can go to with special guests, Southside Johnny, Roger McGuinn, Roseanne Cash, Buster Pointdexter, Richie Havens and Janis Ian. That's for one night only, and it's tomorrow night.
H: I didn't realize it was tomorrow night.
C: We're on at 10.
H: What's today?
R: It's Tuesday.
C: So you're not going to be there then?
H: Wednesday night? I can't be there. I gotta get up at 4 in the morning. I can't go there. I might go...yeah, to see you guys perform...you guys are great. I've seen you live.
C: Aren't you going to play congas with us?
G: Aren't you going to come and sing Lucky Man with us?
H: Yeah I might sing Lucky Man with you. That would be good...I could ruin your song.
K: I love the moog solo.
H: So that's tomorrow night, Wednesday, November 17th at 8 pm at the Beacon Theatre in New York City. It's going to be a great show, and tickets are still available from Ticketmaster and the Beacon Theatre box office. So you guys are donating all the money to world hunger year.That's pretty decent of you. I would never do that. I say screw the hungry. I want the paycheck. I'm very hostile that way. I want all the food for myself.
C: That's nice...
G: I know what you mean.
H: I'm not a giving person, I'll be honest with you. Would you, Robin, ever do anything like that...play, and then give all the money to world hunger?
R: I don't think I could at this point in my life....but they're rich!
H: Hey you guys are super rich...you can afford to do it.
C: What's 1/2 an hour? It's 1/2 an hour of play...its nothing is it, come on.
H: I don't know.
G: We're happy to do it.
H: Better to donate it to the hungry instead of Keith's ex-wife. Anything we'd give him...he'd just give half to her. You're in court now over that?
H: You got a lawyer and everything?
K: Yup, yup.
H: You can't just say to her..." hey look, I'll give you 10 million bucks" and then just be done with it?
K: Yeah, I tried all that.
H: You did? Why do you have to pay lawyers? Why don't I just give you half of what I got? You would have to give it to her anyway...and she wouldn't go for that?
K: We're still talking about it.
C: That was OK until she took the chain saw to the furniture!
R: You know what it is? People have a different idea about what half is.
H: I know, they probably think you have alot more than you do. Have you tried to convince her that you don't have that much?
K: I don't have that much...I don't have to convince anybody!
H: Really? How can you not have that much? If Emerson, Lake & Palmer didn't make a boat load of money, then who did?
C: I knew it would be down to money...I love it!
H: No seriously, you guys had 20 billion hits. How many albums did you guys sell...30 billion albums?
C: 25 million roughly.
H: You could have tons of money...I guess when you do a three-way split it sucks.
C: It's because of the drummer...you've got to give the drummer something!
H: Really, if they were smart, they would have made you a paid guy who comes in and helps them.
C: If I had known you were playing drums with Willie Nelson, I'd have given you some free drum lessons!
H: No, come on, did you write any of the Emerson, Lake & Palmer songs?
C: Bits and pieces here and there.
H: Oh you did?
R: The drum parts!
C: Steady Robin, steady...you can stay in that box....stay right there.
H: No seriously, did you write any of the lyrics?
C: No...Greg writes all the lyrics.
H: Greg writes the lyrics?
C: Absolutely...well in the early days, Pete Sinfield did some of the lyrics.
H: And who writes the music?
C: Keith wrote the music...some of the music. Greg writes some of the music.
H: And Greg writes some of the music and the words?
G: See, he's gonna give you a hard time.
H: So how does the drummer figure into this? If I started a band, I'd say to the drummer, look man...we're gonna pay you well....you're gonna be paid double scale.
C&R: What's double scale?
H: Look. If you guys aren't going to write any music....
C: What's double scale? Tell me what it is.
H: You get $400 a night when you go on tour.
C: I've got a good drummer for you Howard....
H: Alright, take it easy, I'm just busting your chops...you're a great drummer.
C: You played well with Willie Nelson.
H: Alright...let's review what we've learned so far and then we're gonna jam. Let's review...Keith does everything and Keith has nothing. On the other hand, Carl, bangs on congas, and he has all the money, and Greg breast feeds my audience. I've got it....excellent group. Emerson, Lake & Palmer has written some great songs....great tunes, and I will now jam with them when we come back. We'll do a little jam session which could be very exciting, and boys will be there tomorrow night at the Hungerthon playing. Also, what else can I say about you guys...you've got a new box set out....which weighs about 500 pounds.
C: 5 hours of music, Howard.
H: I can't even pronounce the title....the Return of the Manticore?
G: You've got it.
H: Whatever that is.
C: That's the first record label we had back in the 70s.
C: Yeah, back when we had the groups like PFM and Banco...those Italian bands? Pete Sinfield, King Crimson...that's what that was all about.
H: Some of you guys were in King Crimson, right?
H: Greg...that's a cool...I love that freakin' song....dammit, where is that song....(starts singing In the Court...) Gary, where is my King Crimson album? Where is my record?
G: I think he sung it better than I could have, personally.
C: Did you rehearse that, or was that just acappela?
H: I dig that song....is that it? Well give it to me...is that King Crimson? Put it in there on The Court of the Crimson King (plays song with added vocals) oh, this is Greg....sit through this...I love this song...I used to listen to this all the time and like I thought I was learning something....Greg, does this mean anything? I always thought it meant something. You don't know either.
G: I dunno. (song continues)
H: I love that man, now that's brilliant!
C: Do you feel better now?
H: Isn't that brilliant?
G: You got that off your chest now.
H: Wish you guys could do that too.
C: Just loosen up the jock strap, Howard.
H: Why'd you quit that band?
K: Yeah, why?
G: No, I didn't.
H: Why'd you give that up? Seriously, what happened? Why'd you hook up with these blokes?
G: It was in the early 70s and the band basically broke up. Two of the guys didn't want to go out on the road that's what it was.
H: They didn't want to go on the....what are they, pussies? Get the hell out on the road...make some money.....how do you like guys like that...King Crimson. Who else was in that band?
G: Mike Giles, Ian McDonald, Robert Fripp.
H: Fripp? He's no good....they didn't want to go on the road....you guys understand that....isn't that where you make all your money?
G: Well, it's just something we've always done, and they didn't want to do it, so that was that.
H: Jezzus Christ! Where you goin outta your mind? Did you want to bang their heads against the wall?
H: You go out on the road...don't you get tons of girls and stuff? Christ almighty! (plays Court of the again) You gotta love this...everybody, come on....here we go....I love that...
G: You sing in tune as well....that's the amazing....
H: I know what I'm doing...I know how to sing.
C: Who's that under the desk?
H: I'm better than you guys. Alright, let me take a break...Emerson, Lake & Palmer have a whole conga set-up here. What are we going to do...we're gonna do some songs? You gotta go out and get their box set....this is all the good music. Anything they ever wrote that was not that good, they didn't put on here. You guys had tunes that you didn't like that you wrote? Filler, they call it.
G: The only filler we ever did...believe it or not was Lucky Man.
H: Really? And that's a great song.
G: Yeah, you never know you see.
H: You never know. Hey Keith man, did you ever kill anyone? You look like could kill somebody. Keith looks angry, doesn't, he? Just because you've got some legal problems dude, don't let it affect your whole life. Your wife's not going to get everything, you're still going to have some money left.
G: He hates getting up in the morning.
H: Well, who cares?
K: I've actually just gone through surgery as well, I don't know if you know about that.
H: You went through surgery? What happened?
K: I had...this is called the radial nerve up here...I had the compression taken out of that and also the ulna nerve around the elbow has been shoved over here.
H: How's it feel now?
K: It's sore.
H: Do you ever consider that all this could be from the stress of your divorce? I'm being serious now. I had back pain...it turned out it was stress.
K: I wouldn't put that down to the divorce situation.
H: Oh yes I would.
K: You would?
H: Let me tell you something...the major surgery you went through is when you had your wallet removed! Am I right, Robin?
R: He's sore there too!
H: I know one thing, Keith's wife is a pain in the ass to all of us cos she's bringing down the whole dam proceedings. And I wish the divorce was over, cos Keith is like looking off into the sunset thinking about his money. Do you know what you could do with all those millions?
C: He's thinking about breakfast.
H: You wouldn't have to get up early. Alright, this new box set is unbelievable...how many CD discs are in here?
C: There's four in there and there's also a booklet in there too.....from '70 through to whatever it is, '93, pictures.
H: And it's all the greatest songs.
C: And there's 3 previously unreleased tracks in there also.
H: Let's play a few tracks when we get back. We'll do them live, screw that! Now what is this song called...now Keith, you wrote this....it's called "Marriage Blows". Now how does that one go? We're going to take a break, the boys are going to set up. Emerson, Lake & Palmer. It's very exciting...it's not often you get some kind of musical treat here in the morning, quite frankly, mostly it's just us staring at each other. They're going to set up and let's see what happens.
(Thanks to J. Walker Grant for transcription)