One Man's Story

Hello, my name is Stackridge, and I'm an ELP addict. Like most people, it started when I was a teen.

I read a magazine that had pictures of fresh-faced young men that seemed to be having a good time. I thought about going to see them and experimenting myself once I had saved up enough money. That's how I got my first fix of Emersonlakeandpalmer, or ELP.

It involved a lot of head-shaking and shouting out "Wally" at inappropriate times at sessions where ELP was available. Long walks would invariably follow after missing the last bus home. Occasionally mixed with other drugs, like Bitter and Lager, this made a potent combination. Shortly afterwards I was hooked. I would try to get other boys involved as well, sometimes sitting in dark rooms listening to the messages from the makers of ELP on record players. This led to the now-recognisable symptoms of ELP abuse; talking gibberish, experimenting with PROG, attempting to play musical instruments and hanging around in shops where ELP was sold in 12" square packets.

After a few years it became difficult to find ELP on the streets so I was able to wean myself off the addiction. The potency had started to diminish anyway and no longer gave the same high. However in recent years ELP has started to appear on the market again and at much lower prices which could capture both former addicts and fresh ones once more. But with more sophisticated technology the means exist today to get help early in the addiction. ELP Anonymous centres can be found online to talk about the causes of the addiction to ELP and how to fight it. An inclination to analyse the components of ELP can be controlled by fellow addicts pouring scorn on such overblown rhetoric. Failing that, a verbal assault from a moderator can be sufficient to bring down the addict from a lofty position.

Scientists now proclaim that ELP in small doses can be beneficial to certain members of society by delaying the onset of the aging process. This is usually administered in diluted form of KE, GL or CP but can be potent nonetheless. It can also be difficult to totally control the symptoms of talking gibberish and the wearing of old-fashioned clothing but society appears to embrace these traits now.

I'm Stackridge...and this is my story.

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